The leaning curve of lunch .

One brought wine , one brought tulips and the "plain eater " brought a stony silence .

The stew had been browned off and set to bubble in the slow cooker last night . Left for the flavour to meld and heated again in time for the dumplings to go in . I set both slow cookers on the table , served people and left spoons and ladles around the table so people could dip in when they wanted seconds .

LESSON ONE:
Never leave a saxophonist near a ladle and a slow cooker and take your eye off the ball.

Conversation faltered and died several times despite heroic efforts from the saxophonist and me and no effort at all from the " plain eater ".

LESSON TWO: 
Do not forget yourself and tell people that you have a blog and then remember that your last post was about this very meal and was not entirely complimentary about people sitting at that very table ( I had to feign coy stage fright despite being pushed on it's title) .

LESSON THREE: 
Do not suddenly panic once they have left and belt up the stairs to the laptop to see if they can Google your name and get the blog's name too .

The pudding had to be changed after the saxophonist and I had an extra one last night and sat companionably gossiping as front loaded compensation for today .

LESSON FOUR:
Don't march towards a pudding recipe on the day and find that you will be an hour short of cooking time - especially if you suspect they will arrive early - and they did .

LISTEN ten minutes is ten minutes when you have flung together a blackberry and apple crumble whilst taking time to yell like a fish wife at a passing saxophonist who you are fairly confident will try to pretend that you are speaking in Urdu / Welsh or any other language he can insist he cannot speak .

LESSON FIVE:
For goodness sake remember that whilst the saxophonist may be easy on the eye he will not interpret
"sexy is as sexy does " by laying the table .

So people had seconds of everything and sat alcohol free , making fitful conversation for three days - well until five o clock but you get the picture .

FURTHER NOTES TO SELF:

• Don't do it again .
• Don't be surprised when the " plain eater " slinks off without even saying thank you .
• Make a note now you have done the maths to tackle the saxophonist about the information gleaned that he ingested seven fat dumplings on the sly .

Don't do dosas .

You know when you invite someone to lunch ,  full of joie de vivre and a couple of drinks and then have plenty of time to regret it ?
 Saturday since you're asking .

He only eats " plain English food " he says .

My inclination would be to carry on with current experiments with savoury pancakes with fillings gussied up with garam masala , chilli flakes and other niceness .

My default ( and what you would get if you hadn't visited before ) would be my lasagne . The ragu and the cheese sauce must be to die for and the salad en point . People generally have second helpings , more wine and undo their top buttons .

Neither the Indian or the Italian are on though are they ?
The saxophonist says give him the lasagne .
The saxophonist ? Oh thank you for asking but you don' need to anymore . He walks into town on his own . He's driven the car round the block and he's been out for a drink with me several evenings this week .

Anyway plain English food . I could use the cold weather as an excuse just to make a kick ass stew and dumplings plus spring greens .
Afters are up for grabs and are :

1. homemade treacle tart and clotted cream .

2. an old fashioned trifle .

3. little apple and blackberry pies made in muffin tins , sugar topped and served with ice cream or custard .

4. proper rice pudding with a vanilla pod split into it and some double cream plus a dollop of it on the side .

All typically English and cold weatherish .

What should I make or am I missing a trick and it should be something else entirely ?
Comments welcome as usual but if anybody feels moved to mention calorie counting or fat free substitutes they should be ready to be called joyless and be deleted straight way . Ha !

Clarity .

A euphoric five weeks . Almost as if we were snow bound . Every time there is heavy snow the papers carry pictures of people tobogganing on legitimately stolen week day time . It's felt a bit like that .
Lots of simple pleasures rediscovered and the leisure to savour them . Wandering out into the garden , reading new authors , baking bread . Civilised sensibilities . Leisured little luxuries .

The odd thing has been some people's reactions .We are independent by nature but people make a point of offering shopping or errand duties .Both we politely declined .
Others though promised outings - these were harder to turn down . We knew they could not be the same as if we were just we two but why not go for the journey and the landscape .

Why do people offer and then fail to ring up or turn up as they had said . I don't get that .

Why when you offer lunch do they mess you about and not rule themselves in or out of numbers to cook for ?

I have looked at us with a beady eye to see if we are to blame or we ask  for it in some way. No , there's nothing .

Today we did some editing / desilting / early spring cleaning at home .Amongst the papers stuffed in a pile and just left there were the saxophonists discharge details copied to us and his GP .
I looked at them with calm curiosity now the storm has blown out .

I know now why they put me in a police car to follow the ambulance saying this would be best .

I sat amongst the spring cleaning crying about what I was learning .
He was dead for twenty five minutes and they had to "shock" him four times to bring him back .I read it out to the saxophonist.
I , we are getting our heads round this new information and new clarity . For all that happened I find what I have newly read profoundly shocking .

I know though what I shall say when that "person "offers us something , anything .I shall say "oh thank you but we are OK ."

And we are , we are . I am crying as I type this  . We are OK . More OK than I can say .

The indifference of ash keys .

Some enquiries are concern and some are pure nosiness .I know which  I prefer but sometimes going over it for whatever reason really doesn't appeal .Increasingly  its a case of that was then and this is now .
So I absent myself from the interest .

Hat on , collar up out along the river . Coots call and there's a floating village of seagulls at one point .

The light is beginning to fade . Just before I turn for home I look out along the far reaches of the winding river . I see where I shall walk . Further and further as the year unfurls . It is a thought I hug to myself . It gives me pleasure .

Coming back along the tow path I stop to look up at the bunches of ash keys on the bare branches . They are pleasing shapes and they are indifferent to the unobservant and the admirer alike .They don't want an update or an excuse to bang on about their own alleged ailments .

I like the indifference of ash keys .

A practical post .

Before we were overtaken by events I used to buy groceries on the wing . Previously potatoes could easily have been driven a hundred miles before I peeled them .

It's obviously different now, at least for a while . All meals at home . Browsing recipe books . Finding food to savour and recipes that I relish cooking .
 Sometimes of course its simpler , something on toast , homemade soup or a cake fresh from the oven . Either way I am looking at who to give my loyalty and cash to .
 I like to see what I am buying and to change my mind if a seasonal treat appears so I won't shop on line . Instead I've looked at shops I can walk to with more or less ease . Tesco , Sainsbury , Aldi , Marks and Spencer and Waitrose .

Initial reaction ? Cheap isn't cheap if it turns out to be substandard and you don't eat it and it seems the two shops in the mix that are said to be more expensive often are not .

Practical advise sought then .
Where do you go , why ,  and what do you recommend from their shelves ?

In our house .

This is the bleakest time of the year . Cold , could be some snow to come .

The garden , people will say , looks bleak but I know its not .
Just under the earth the first stages of  new growth are stirring with the promise of shoots and stems to come .They move gently like a baby rustling in it's cot .

Later when it seems wet as well as bleak the earth is even more deceptive .
Plants are almost ready to push through . They stand in the hall way of their earthy home putting on their hats and coats . Cheerful with chatter and anticipation , they clamour for the door to open and spring to begin .

This I know ,  for it is faithful and true every year . It is something you can depend on . Fresh beginnings and new growth .

And in our house I hear you ask ?

In our house the Spring will just have to follow us .......  for we have already begun .

Something to think about .

So we went through the countryside to do a bit of countrified shopping .

The saxophonist stood outside the girlie beauty shop while I went in and then we started to walk down to the stationers .He normally strides ahead but lagged behind . Stopped . Hit the deck . Had a heart attack . I asked the policewoman who arrived at the same time as the air ambulance " on a scale of one to ten how serious is this ? ". "Ten " she said .

So they put in a stent , took him to intensive care and I played a waiting game for two weeks . Seizures , pipes , wires , monitors , machines ,him trying to pull the wires out and then a conference with the consultants . "Your husband will never regain consciousness ". "He will spend the rest of his life in a specialised care home" he said .

He saw my face ."Your husband is brain dead " he said .

They transferred him to another hospital and it continued for another two weeks .

One day I went into the unit to sit by his bed as usual and sitting up in bed was the saxophonist . Personality , faculties , intelligence , memory all firing on all cylinders . I talked with him and held him . I left the ward . I sobbed and then I did a tap dance in the lift .

He has been home a week now . He is building strength through good food and increasing walks .

I don't know what you feel about this year . I don't know what you feel about Christmas BUT I can give you this . Miracles do happen , they are real and I know this for a fact . Happy Christmas .