One brought wine , one brought tulips and the "plain eater " brought a stony silence .
The stew had been browned off and set to bubble in the slow cooker last night . Left for the flavour to meld and heated again in time for the dumplings to go in . I set both slow cookers on the table , served people and left spoons and ladles around the table so people could dip in when they wanted seconds .
LESSON ONE:
Never leave a saxophonist near a ladle and a slow cooker and take your eye off the ball.
Conversation faltered and died several times despite heroic efforts from the saxophonist and me and no effort at all from the " plain eater ".
LESSON TWO:
Do not forget yourself and tell people that you have a blog and then remember that your last post was about this very meal and was not entirely complimentary about people sitting at that very table ( I had to feign coy stage fright despite being pushed on it's title) .
LESSON THREE:
Do not suddenly panic once they have left and belt up the stairs to the laptop to see if they can Google your name and get the blog's name too .
The pudding had to be changed after the saxophonist and I had an extra one last night and sat companionably gossiping as front loaded compensation for today .
LESSON FOUR:
Don't march towards a pudding recipe on the day and find that you will be an hour short of cooking time - especially if you suspect they will arrive early - and they did .
LISTEN ten minutes is ten minutes when you have flung together a blackberry and apple crumble whilst taking time to yell like a fish wife at a passing saxophonist who you are fairly confident will try to pretend that you are speaking in Urdu / Welsh or any other language he can insist he cannot speak .
LESSON FIVE:
For goodness sake remember that whilst the saxophonist may be easy on the eye he will not interpret
"sexy is as sexy does " by laying the table .
So people had seconds of everything and sat alcohol free , making fitful conversation for three days - well until five o clock but you get the picture .
FURTHER NOTES TO SELF:
- Don't do it again .
- Don't be surprised when the " plain eater " slinks off without even saying thank you .
- Make a note now you have done the maths to tackle the saxophonist about the information gleaned that he ingested seven fat dumplings on the sly .
I never tell anybody about my blog. It is between me and blogland. I have found that people who do not blog do not understanding blogging at all. In the early life of the blog, 10 years ago, I mentioned it to some friends and they looked at me with fear in their eyes and they were unable to form words. I never mentioned it again.
ReplyDeleteI note you didn't buy the ready made treacle tart.
Wise advice plus I quite like having a secret platform / door way into other lives / people that other people would not know I have conversations with .
DeleteI cut it so fine that I had no time to make the pastry and the breadcrumbs .Then again thinking about it now that might have taken less time than peeling and slicing the cooking apples .I will do the tart just for the two of us this week .
Agreed. Never, ever tell people who you actually know that you write a blog. If it accidentally gets found out that's bad enough.
ReplyDeleteI think I agree with you but is it a rule for all bloggers ?
DeleteI too never tell people I know about my blog, but for a handful of hardy friends, and they mostly never bother to visit anyway, and I am not offended, but rather relieved. I suppose they know what they want to know about me from our in person interactions.
ReplyDeleteIs it about being able to say things to strangers and are we all such strangers ?
DeleteIs it about what we leave out ?
I actually think it is about an intimacy that is deeper the the physical self, an intimacy of souls. I dont feel as if I am speaking to strangers when I write on my blog. I feel as if I am speaking to trusted friends who know me under the skin, and make a generous space for my truth.
Delete