Saturday 27 April 2019

Options and Fornication .


Adventures by train and country bus have begun . I like very much the freedom of it . I love the improvisation and spontaneity of such journeys . The transience and the unexpected .

Home pleasures satisfy . Reading  , drawing , making things  , walking .

However , somewhat out of character , I have contemplated joining something . To save you the bother of doing the same I'll explain .

Option one : community choir .

"friendship and fun "

Well , they could have had them under the trades description act on that one .

Men with comb overs and women gone prematurely blond caterwauling whilst wearing novelty wigs and hats . Bad enough I know but their rendition of classic soul songs ...

Its quite hard , I imagine , to sing about loss , desire and raunchy sex as if it should be banned .
 They managed it .

I gather they intend to have a " summer buffet " and a glass of wine will be " available to purchase ".
I will either have to drink two litres of rough cider and wear my knickers as an improvised fascinator or stay away .
Stay away I think and of course I advise you to do the same .

Option two : charity shop volunteer .

"community spirit and commitment "

The hearty and the sanctimonious convene ( in this case at least ) to encourage you to form an enclave where men are not needed .

Quiz's , book groups and fun for the ladies .

Now , I have never drunk a bottle of scotch straight down or road tested a selection of sex toys but I wouldn't half like to suggest it to the ladies .

Best I stay away and probably you too ?
Yes I think so .


I said to the saxophonist was I being overly critical or displaying rather telling character traits with my reaction to options one and two ?

He said , firstly , that he would not pay fifteen quid to sit through two hours of the choir giving it what for .
He said , secondly , that my comments on the "options" were a bit naughty .

I said that I thought the "naughty " was what he married me for , along with the great cooking and an enthusiastic aptitude for  explicit detail deleted .

He thought about this for a while and did a slow grin .

Advice then : if you are a person who likes joining things , fill your boots , and if you are not then I'm sure you , like me ,  you will find your own amusements .

5 comments:

  1. I love this post. I could not join a club/group activity like those either - too many human beings make me cringe.

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  2. Yes they are for some but not for others and the some who they are for love to tell you that serving at a charity shop will be a part of your new life fulfilled. I like to have my own motive for joining something and that does not include the other people who may be there who are secondary.

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  3. It sounds like you joined the wrong choir. I joined a choir when I went freelance, i wanted AN ACTIVITY that would get me out the house once a week, and i found a rather quirky bunch with a quirky choir director who is passionate about getting the music as close to right as her rank amateurs can get, and i love it. it is my low stress activity of the week as I need take none of it personally as none of it impacts any other part of my life. and so i make a joyful noise with these other souls, some of whom probably also joined so they'd have a place to go on a monday night. but to each his own. you sound like you can have just as much fun *explicit detail deleted* on a monday night (wink).

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